Parody Of FanFics
by Elky.And.The.Rupert.Obsession
Summary: This is a Parody of fan fics out there.. this is just good fun ok so if i somehow insult your story.. sorry
1. The Totally Random 7th Year

**Ok this is a parody fic of fan-fictions because I'm really bored right now.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.**

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It was the first day of 7th year and Ron, Harry, and Hermione aren't looking for the Horcruxes because the authors want them to go to back to school.

Now this is the part that the author has to describe what they look like.

Hermione is stunningly beautiful now and has curves "in all the right places". Has ruler strait hair thanks to the straitaner, which wasn't even popular in the 90's. She is also wearing a super mini skirt that it could be mistaken for underwear, and she also has on a super mini tight shirt, which is also mistaken for a bra.

Ron and Harry seem to have the exact same body type. Muscular and tall. Thanks to Quiddich as all the writers like to say.

As they get on the train they find a compartment and Ron and Harry are drooling over Hermione. And Hermione looking in a mirror drooling over herself because writers now want her to be stupid and a ditz.

Then Draco came in and was about to insult them then he saw Hermione and looked they looked at each other.

This is the part that the author gets to describe him!

Well he stopped gelling his hair and now his hair covered his eyes so he was semi blind now. Then he also is tall and muscular like every other guy at Hogwarts.

Then they started making out and they became a couple.

Then Ginny came into the compartment and saw Harry and they instantly fell in love and started making out.

Then Ron was just sitting there.

"You know what im going to leave and never be mentioned in this fan-fic like every other one." Said Ron as he went to the really crowded compartment of the never used characters.

Then both of the couples realized they don't really love each other and then Hermione and Harry started making out and Draco and Ginny started making out.

Then they got to Hogwarts and the first years got sorted.

Then Dumblore (who is DEAD) made a speech.

"AHHH IT'S THE GHOST OF DUMBLEDOR!" Yelled a random student.

Then a random girl walked in.

"Oh my gosh she isn't a first year she's so stunningly beautiful to be one." Said Ron who snuck back into the fic.

This is the part that I the author get to describe her.

She had beautiful blue eyes. She had long Blonde hair. And she had curves in all the right places.. just like every other girl at Hogwarts.

"Could it be its an American Exchange student!" yelled Dean who made his only appearance in this fic.

Then Harry dumped Hermione and started making out with the American exchange student.

"I'm all alone. Harry dumped me for the American slut." (a/n im not American FYI)

Then Ron started making out with Hermione because that's who she is really supposed to be with and then they had kids and lived happily ever after.

Then Draco got incredibly jealous that Harry got the American and then they fought over her.

Then they accidentally killer her.

Then Hermione dumped Ron for Draco and made him live with all 12 kids they had.

Then Harry got with Ron and they lived happily ever after.

As Hermione and Draco were making out all of a sudden and time turner sent her the maurderers time.

She saw Severus Snape and instantly loved him. Then she saw Sirius Black then dumped him. Then she saw Remus Lupin and instantly loved him. Then dumped Sirius.

Then she stayed with him the whole fic and never tried to go back to her time.

Then she became friends with Lily and they had a Random dance thing because the authors wants a new excuse to describe the characters again.

When they were dressed they walked down the stairs.

This is where I get to describe them YAY!

Lily was wearing a super tight green strapless dress because that's what they really wore in the 70's..

Ginny came to the past to save Hermione but then fell in love with Sirius. She was wearing a super tight curve showing and it went to her mid thigh because in fic's she's usually the slut.

Then Hermione came in a breath taking dress. It fit perfectly and showed all her curves and her hair was in a bun with some of her hair coming out because writers really like that look.

Then the dance started and everyone danced then a Muggle American Song came on and it was also from 2006. Even though those songs don't exist yet. And it was slow then Harry came up out of nowhere and asked Ginny dance and because she such a slut she said yes. Then Ron came out of nowhere and asked Hermione and because she's now a ditzy blonde (no offense to blondes) she said yes.

Then this is the part that the lyrics come on and no one actually reads it. (read mine though because it's a made up one)

I've always loved you with all my heart and stuff and I hope that one day Ginny wont be a slut anymore and that she will only love me! Blah blah blah blah.. nananana nenenenen…

"oh my gosh Harry this song reminds me of us." Said Ginny!

Oh Hermione can you become that no it all bookworms again because we still have to find the Horcruxes and destroy he-who-must-not-be-named.

"Do buffalo have wings?" said Hermione

Then out of nowhere they were back in there regular time then Voldemort came into the room and started killing everyone.

Then a girl walked in.

YAY more describing.

She had beautiful long black hair. Red eyes. And had curves in all the right places.

"oh my god forget about Voldemort she's hott. Bye Ginny." Said Harry as he ran to the girl and started making out with her.

Then the girl pushed him off.

"Harry im Voldemorts Daughter and I hate him will you help me kill him?" she said

"Ok as long as I get to make-out with you and other stuff ;)" said harry

Then Dumbledore came out.

"I thought I killed you!" said Draco.

"NO YOU DIDN'T I DID YOU SPOILED LITTLE BRAT!" said Snape.

"Well I came back to life! Duh have you ever heard of the spelled called comebacktolife!" said Dumbledore in a girly voice.

"Uhhh" then Voldemort ran away.

Harry finally decided to go look for the Horcruxes and he found them all. Under his bed.. who knew?

Then he destroyed them and went to look for Voldemort.

As he walked out to the hallway he saw Hermione and Snape making out!

"AHH MY EYES!" scream Harry.

"Oh Harry its ok in fan fics me and Snape end up together silly" said Hermione.

"Oh ok continue I found all the Horcruxes and now im going to kill Voldemort." Said Harry

Then he left the Castle and his luck he saw Voldemort next to a tree reading a book.

So he snuck behind him and killed him with a new spell he made up!

Its called…. ThisWillKillVoldemortAndComeBackToLifeWontBringHimBackToLife!

Then everyone in the Wizarding World his happy now.

Harry and Voldemorts Daughter got it going on ;)

(insert sex scene)

Hermione and Snape got married and Snape got Pregnant (seriously found some fics with him pregnant)

And Draco and Ginny got together and since she's a slut she dumped him because he gave bad sex. So she then went to Seamus and got married.

The End


	2. The Kidnapping Of Rupert Grint

**Ok I couldn't resist it another chapter **

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of it, not even Rupert Grint :tear:**

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Ok so now that Voldmort is destroyed and stuff it turned out Voldemort had a spell cast on them to make them ooc.

Hermione turned back to bookworm Hermione, Ginny turned back to non-slutty Ginny. Ron isn't stupid anymore. Harry is the average hero. Draco is mean again. Dumbldore is dead :tear:

HAHA you think I was serious this is a parody of coarse not.

**Sirius**: Who called me?

**Me:** No one did go back to your nap behind the veil.

**Sirius**: Ok

Ok anyways sorry for the interruption.

It was the first day of them working and stuff.

Ron was a janitor of Hogwarts because Filch retired.

Harry was the new headmaster of Hogwarts.

Hermione was the deputy head mistress and taught everything because she's smart and junk.

Ginny was still a student.

Draco was stupid so he had to repeat the 7th year.

Anyway Harry was sitting in his office with a giant plasma TV, video iPod, computer, bean bag chairs, and other cool 21st century stuff. He was looking at a picture of Hermione sleeping and drooling and stuff. **(Harry/Hermione shippers) YAY!**

There was a knock at his door.

It was Ginny.

"Hey Professor Potter, I've been a bad girl" said Ginny in a sexy voice thing while winking.

"Ok then you will have detention with Ron in Wednesday" said Harry "oh and try to get that thing out of your eye its making it blink uncontrollably" he added.

She left all mad and stuff, and you could here her screaming in a faint distance "He's the headmaster!"

As he was sitting thinking of cool random events to do this year he decided that he should make a head boy and girl.

So he chose Ginny and Draco.

_That would be fun to watch them argue_ he thought.

Then to make it more fun he said they should share a dorm place, oh even better even share a bathroom, no wait worse a room, no wait better they have to share a bed!

"mwhahahhahahahhahahahhahhaha" laughed Harry evil like.

"Uhm Harry you alright?" said Hermione walking in.

Harry looked up and was shocked to see how she looked.

She had beautiful long curly brown hair with blonde hightlights, she had full pink lips, and had developed even more curves in those right places.

Harry thought he was in heaven.

**Hermione P.O.V**

"_mwhahahhahahhahahhahahahhaha" laughed Harry evil like._

"_Uhm Harry you alright?" said Hermione walking in._

Oh wow Harry sure is sexy when he's not laughing like a maniac.

His hair is just the right length for him, his glasses were more in style and his scar looked painted in.

"YOUR NOT HARRY POTTER!" Said Hermione!

"Ahh no you found out!" said "Harry"

"Who are you?" asked Hermione.

"I'm really the sexy Daniel Radcliffe, but I do portray him in the popular Harry Potter films." Said Daniel. "Oh and Ron isn't really Ron its actually the 10 times sexier than me Rupert Grint."

As he said that Ron, I mean Rupert walked in.

"Did someone say my name?" he said.

"AHHHH I LOVEE YOU!" I said running and grabbing him taking him off somewhere.

**:REALLY ANNOYING BEEPING NOISE THING:**

I'm sorry to interrupt this but Rupert Grint has been Kidnapped by some crazy fan if you have any information please call 1-123-456-789, Thank you and you may resume you normal reading

**:REALLY ANNOYING BEEPING NOISE:**

_Ok kids what words start with the letter K?_

**:Glitch:**

Then they lived happily ever the end.

Haha I'm just kidding.

So then the real Harry and Ron walked in and kicked Daniel out and then the three of them took a walk.

"Hmm Ron is sure looking sexy" said Harry.

"What did you say?" Ron asked.

"Ahh I got to stop thinking out loud.. but he sure does look sexy." Harry said.

"You did it again Harry" Hermione said.

"Oh crap" said Harry and ran off to fulfill is sexual needs.

"That was weird" said Hermione "Oh well I have to go grade papers and such and teach"

"Better go clean up the school" said Ron " and use Misses Clean the best castle cleaning product out there."

So Ron ran in and made the castle the cleanest castle in the world.

Harry relived his sexual needs.

Hermione graded her stuff and taught stuff.

**:The End:**

**Draco:** Hey how come I wasn't mentioned in this chapter?

**Draco:** Hello Author person where are you?

**:hears someone scream:**

**Draco**: walks over

**Draco**: sees Rupert Grint tied up to a chair and the author holding him against his will"

**Draco:** hey author person how come I was never mentioned in this chapter?

**Me:** oh yeah, uh huh, whatever.

**Draco:** grabs his wand and frees' Rupert.

**Me:** NOOOOO!

**REALLY ANNOYING BEEP**

Rupert Grint has been found no need to look for him anymore

**:REALLY ANNOYING BEEP:**

**Me:** holding a wand and a dead body next to me who resembles Draco "no one takes my Rupert away"

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**Yeah really random but I'm bored and tired so yeah.**


	3. Really Long Named Girl With Really Prett

**Now's time for a parody of our favorite character.**

**Disclaimer: don't own anyone except "_really long named girl with pretty words_"**

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Hello my name is _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words. _I'm going to Hogwarts School. I come from Canada. I'm rich, beautiful, and popular. Everybody loves me. I'm also really smart. Smarter than Dumbldore and Voldemort combined. Ok so here's my story.

As I was walking trying to find the train that will take me to my new school. I get lost; "oh poor me I'm lost I can't find my train." Then this really nerdy guy comes up to me. He has these round glasses, lighting bolt scar and is really short.

"Hey I'm Harry Potter, I see you're a witch because u have a lot of crap on your trolley." He said.

"OMG!1!one!1one! This stuff isnt lyk crap!one!1!one!11 I payed a bazillion dollars for it" I said.

"Why are you speaking instant messenger language? Oh well your still a Witch though" he said.

"chyeahh" she said

"ok then ill help you to the train" he said

"ok whatever" she said.

"oh and what's your name?" he asked.

"_Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words" _I said like it was the most obvious thing ever.

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They were on the train now and she was with that Harry Potter Nerd, Some guy named Ron who wore the ugliest clothes ever, and some bookworm named Hermooney or whatever.

"I'm going to give you all make-over ok?" I said.

"No!" the nerds, I mean trio said.

"TOO BAD!" she said and got to work.

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30 minutes later…

Harry's scar was magically gone thanks to Govergirl. He also had a 30-second workout video that made him muscular. He had contacts. Call him Harry-Sue.

Ron got fashionable clothes from the on board mall. He did the 30-second workout video too. His hair was sexier. Call him Won-Won-Sue.

Hermione's hair got less frizzy and bushy and now was long and beautiful with soft curls, with blonde highlights. She got a French pedicure and manicure. Had less clothes on than usual. Did a 30-second pilates workout so she had curves in all the right places. Call her Mia-Sue.

Oh and while were describing them lets describe _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words. _She had really long blonde hair, slender, and had a really pretty nose. Over all she was beautiful. Oh and she was abused as a child, she had to clean her room!one1!one!1!one!1! Yeah she was beautiful. Call her _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words._

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Yeah I'm bored with this so let's get on with the story.

_Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words_ walked in to Hogwarts and she was sorted into slytherin!1!one!1

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To be continued…

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**So yeah what will happen? **

**Will _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words _fall in love with Draco?**

**Will she Kill Voldemort?**

**To find out just wait and I will type it up when I feel like it**!


	4. RLNGWRPW 2

**Another chapter**

**Disclaimer: Don't own any of it.**

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In our last chapter _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words _gave make over to Harry, Ron, and Hermione and she was sorted into Slytherin.

After dinner _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words_ was following the other Slytherins to the common room.

She walked in.

She walked to her private room because she's so beautiful and rich. It had a ginourmous bed, which had pink silky bed sheets, and she had really cool stuff too.

She went to sleep.

When she woke up she got ready and was walking to breakfast and ran into someone and fell on the floor seductively.

"uhhhhhh" said none other than Goyle.

Than _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words _Lifted herself off the floor and looked in his eyes and they instantly fell in love right than and there and started making out.

Than Draco saw them and started a spaz attack because he's supposed to end up with all the beautiful Mary-sues. Than a Mary-sue from the story "The sun, moon, and cheese" (actually not a real story).

"Oh Draco don't worry you still have all us other Mary-sues" said Mary-sue number 99,239,879,234,123,346,273,864.

Than _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words _planned a wedding.

WEDDING DAY! 

_Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words _started walking down the isle in a really long while beautiful dress that made her look 10x more beautiful than she already was. The dress didn't have any sleeves and it was all flowery. Her hair was in a bun and had hair coming out and it was curly. She had a little bit of make-up on because she really didn't need any.

Than in the Voldemort came and interrupted the wedding.

_Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words _got really po'ed and killed him by bitch slapping him to death.

Then her and Goyle got married.

The End :

Harry: How come _Really Long Named Girl With Really Pretty Words _defeated Voldemort? What happened to the prophecy and the horcruxes and how come I wasn't in this chapter? I mean DRACO was.

Draco: You don't like it do you scarface not being mentioned in a chapter.

Harry: The story is based off of me though!

Draco: Oh its always about you scarface.

Harry: The books are called HARRY POTTER and the insert w/e book you like

Draco: Oh.. well it should be called "The amazing story of Draco Malfoy and his awsomness"

Harry: whatever.

Me: Jeez Harry its just a parody making fun of mary-sues and how they steel all your glory. Draco, doubt anyone wants to read about a spoiled brat and his life.

Draco: I would read it!

Me:sigh: whatever.

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	5. The End

**I'm bored with this story so this is the last chapter of the plotless story.**

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(lights dim)

(some people in audience start doing that really annoying _shhh_ thing)

(curtains open)

(Hermione walks out)

(spotlight hits her)

"I Hermione Granger am now proud to present the end of this Plotless Parody that made no sense at all!"

(Crowd now starts cheering)

(Ron and Harry come out and go next to Hermione one of each side)

(Some 50's up beat music starts)

"Now it's the end!" Sang Harry.

"It's the end!" Hermione and Ron repeat in background. And that keeps repeating for about 10 seconds.

(song changes to "We are the champions")

(Draco and crew i.e. Crabbe and Goyle walk out)

(Draco goes to front of stage and pushes trio out of way)

(Crabbe and Goyle go behind and get out their lighters and start doing the arm in the air thing)

"Finally its ending the plotless story" sang Draco.

(people in audience get up and get there lighters out, or if there too young they use there glow sticks and join Crabbe and Goyle)

"And I would keep on fighting for more lines!"

(Than Dumbledore and Teachers walk out)

(Draco and Crew magically start floating and continue singing or lighter waving)

(Dumbledore and Teachers bow)

(they go off to side of stage but still see-able (I know not word) and take out their lighters and do wave thing)

(students we don't care about come out and bow and join Dumbledore and Teachers)

(Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe walk out and bow and go join others)

(Really Pretty Girl with long name or w/e walks out and bows _beautifully_)

(Draco and Crew and get down and song stops and Crabbe and Goyle Join the rest of the peoples)

"Last but not least, the girl who made this all happen, the amazing, wonderful, Sarcastic.Bitch!" Said Draco.

(I walk out and Roses are being thrown at me and one tomato but it missed me)

(I walk up to the front)

"Thank you Draco I would like to thank all who read this story and my reviewers especially" I say.

"The reviews motivated me to not make this a one-shot" I'm continuing.

"But now I'm thinking of writing a serious story for the first time!"

(crowd goes wild)

(I start to walk of stage)

(Than I see Rupert Grint in the crowd on stage)

"RUPERT GRINT" I SCREAM!

"Oh no not again!" he says

(He runs off outside but I'm very close behind him)

"Sorry about that but yeah the "stories" over now, I think sarcastic.Bitch would appreciate some reviews.. not to sure thought **HINTHINT"** says Draco.

**

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**

**W****ell the stories over.**

**Thinking about writing a serious story, you know one with a plot this time.**

**Yeah listen Draco on the Reviews :**


End file.
